Makeup Smeared Eyes
by Alias-JoyLemmon
Summary: Bella doesn't Edward, and is living a life with Jake now, but you can't bury ghosts and memories. Rating for just in case


**Make-Up Smeared Eyes – the acoustic version**

_Heya peeps – I know it's been a while – but I've been moving and yr 11 is a bitch. If you're following my _"Love and War" _story, never fear – I shall be updated! As soon as my computer starts to behave._

_Anyways, I was listening to this song on my friends iPod in Maths (because I was totally doing work…) and I fell in love with it. The song is by Automatic Loveletter. Anyways, it's really awesome._

_About Edward and Bella, post-break up. She might end up with Jacob, but I think it's either Mid-New Moon or mid-Eclipse when she has to choose – I'm leaning more to new moon, as she's angry with Edward (As were we all)._

**Left your t-shirt in my room,**

**Still smells of you**

**And the Picture you hung on the door**

**Lay smashed,**

**Picture perfect.**

These fits of rage didn't suit me. I mean, I was never a violent. No – I did ballet.

But finding an old t-shirt of Edward's in my room had thrown me over the edge – anything Vampire did these days.

But it still smells like him. His clean, refreshing scent that placates my beating heart.

I still flung it across the room. It was things like that that would send me back into zombie-mode.

It hit the picture that he'd hung on the back of my door. The one that was of Charlie, Renee and Me when I was very little on our front porch. Jacob had his face pressed against the fly mesh inside the house, and Sarah was laughing. Billy took the picture.

It smashed as it hit the floor, and behind it, a photo and him, Alice and I.

I felt the tears well up.

Great. How picture perfect – the teenage girl crying over her ex.

**Explains now,**

**Clearly nothing left but memory**

**We only made out **

**You never kissed me**

**That's how I learned to hold back all feeling**

I remember how that was taken just before out first fight. It's funny – our relationship seems to me now nothing more than clear memories – no emotions, not really.

Our fight was over how he refused to go much farther than kissing.

I mean, we made out…twice, but he never kissed me – he always held back, so he wouldn't hurt me.

But from that I learned to hold back all the feelings, all the hormones, all the emotions that made me alive back. Back where I wouldn't get them squashed.

**Wait, please don't go**

**I won't stay**

**All these words on replay**

**I'm OK,**

**It's alright,**

**Good to know that your fine**

I remember begging him not go. I remember him saying 'I won't stay. It will be as if I'd never existed'.

'Don't go,' I'd begged. Not that's he'd listen.

These words replaying through out my head.

**Pretending everything is right**

**To make it better**

**I'll hide my make-up smeared eyes,**

**To show that I tried.**

I can hear Jacob coming through my front door, so I pretend that I'm alright.

Pretending make everything right. Makes it better.

I scrub my eyes – the very little make-up I'd experimented with was now smeared.

**Somehow you have managed**

**To get under my skin,**

**More than anyone ever did.**

What annoys me most is how Edward is the only to have ever gotten under my skin, to control me so completely.

Though Jake is annoying, and beautiful and makes me laugh, he's not under my skin.

I'm not letting him in.

I'm not letting anyone in.

**And if every whole make a scar**

**And every scar marks its place**

**Then I will never live freely without your trace.**

I hug myself, like I used to do when Edward first left. Where he left scars on my heart.

Jake healed the wounds, the scars will never go away.

I will always have the scars that Edward gave me – a little shadow of me will always be Edward's – the damaged part.

**And it'll never be fair,**

**I wrote my songs for you**

**And you never even cared**

And it's not fair. I poured my heart out for Edward, and what does he do?

He leaves.

Like he never cared.

Like I was nothing more than just a little trivial thing to be toyed with.

**So I'll forget you**

**I'll wash your t-shirt**

**Kill the pillow**

**And cut you out of picture**

But I won't be toyed with.

I grab Edward's shirt and toss it into the hamper, as well as my pillow – it also smells like him, or so I've noticed.

Maybe I'll but a new one, just to be sure.

I grab the photo then, and Jake makes his way up the creaky old stairs.

I grab the scissors and cut Edward out. Jake doesn't Alice that much.

**Wait, please don't go,**

**I won't stay**

**All these words on replay**

**I'm OK**

**It's alright**

**Good to know that you're fine.**

Just as Jake opens the door, I remember the conversation I had with Edward last night.

The first one since he'd left.

"I'm Ok," I told him, when he asked.

"It's alright. I'm – I've moved on."

Silence.

Then "It's good to know that you're fine."

_Click_. The shortest phone call with him I've ever had.

But at least he's gone now.

**Pretending everything is right,**

**To make it better**

**I'll hide my make-up smeared eyes…**

Jake looks up, and sees me, and my make-up smeared eyes that have clearly marked my tear trails on my cheeks.

I smile at him and pretend not to notice his stare.

**The drama sat shot gun**

**My eyes rained like autumn**

**Only the glove box knows**

**How the story goes**

And then I break down, and tell him everything that I've been feeling.

About how Edward called, about how I found his shirt, how his pillow still smells of him. How he left behind a photo.

He held me, jumped out of the window and we sat in the Rabbit ass I cried like the rain. It seemed that, with me, drama always rode shot-gun on my shoulders.

He held me, then whispered nothings.

Only the glove box of my truck holds the last remnants of my relationship with Edward.

My stay away letter.

The end of that story.

**Now that this bandage is broken**

**And the cuts left open**

**I'll tell you just one thing**

**This wasn't worth the sting.**

But this leaves new wounds.

I wasn't ready for this – I wasn't ready for the bandage to be removed, to be broken by him.

And now, with the cuts open to the elements, his call wasn't worth the sting of this now.

I was getting along fine without him.

I was healing – heck, I was healed.

"Thank you," I whisper to Jake.

"Sure sure," he murmurs, kissing my head.

I snuffle into his shirt, inhaling deeply. His scent is now the one that calms me down, the one the inspirers me to face the darkness.

"I love you," I whisper.

I feel him freeze, but I don't repeat it –he can hear me perfectly well.

"I know. I love you too," he whispers back.

And, for the first time that day, I'm happy.


End file.
